2 incidents over the weekend triggered me to write this post.
My kid has been taking swimming lesson for the last 2 months. Along with her, are a bunch of other kids with zero swimming ability. 2 months down the road, all the kids can swim, minimally across the breadth of the pool except 1 boy. Swimming instructor was trying to get the boy up to speed and was a little harsher. End of the lesson, boy’s dad got worked up. Dad was screaming at the kid and the kid was wailing non stop. Dad wanted the kid to go down to the pool and continuing practising, kid refused. Dad dragged him to the poolside and eventually picking the kid up and throwing him into the pool. Instructor had to come defuse the situation.
At my kid’s abacus class, there’s this boy that refused to do his homework. Teacher wanted him to stay back to complete the work and finish his corrections. He didn’t co-operate and he was downright rude to the teacher. Teacher complains to the maid, but maid could only smile and laugh. Teacher was visibily upset and angry. Asked if the kid did his work at home, maid said no and apparently parents didn’t push him too (if I didn’t understand wrongly). Kid wasn’t co-operative, maid not helpful, so teacher said she would call the parent. My guess is this is not the first call.
In both incidents, I wonder what the parents were thinking. In the swimming case, Dad was just interested in playing with his phone during lessons. And it has been so for the past 8 weeks. They would come when lessons start and leave when lessons end. No extra time and effort. Dad didn’t even touch water. All the other kids did extra with their parents before or after lessons, me included. The abacus case also looks like a one of non involvement from parents.
I’m trying to guess their mindset here. What do parents want to achieve when kids go for classes? Are they simply sending their kids because other people are doing so? Or they put the whole responsibilty on the teachers and instructors, simply because they are paying money for the lessons?
I felt quite upset for the teachers and instructors. In the swimming case, the instructor must have felt bad to see the boy being screamed at. And for the abacus teacher, I respect her for her commitment because she’s being anxious and worried for someone else’s kids other than her own. Both cases, it’s really not fair to them.
From the 2 incidents, it now looks like it’s the fault of the kids and the teachers for the kids’ poor performance.
As parents, we have to commit our own time and effort. We know that in order to master a skill, we need more than just spending 1 or 1.5 hours with the teachers. When we put in our effort, kids will also learn. They will understand that more effort is needed to master the skill and they are not going for lessons for the sake of just going through the motion.
Let’s see how things pan out this weekend for both the kids.